life as i see it

sometimes, i just want to be done with it all.
done with school.
done with work.
done with no time for myself.
just be done with it all.

i shouldn't being having these confusions at my age. i should already know where i fit. i should have already done my great thing to contribute to humanity. i should already have my core support of friends and family...i should i should i should...but i feel as though i don't.
finding where i fit is something teenagers do...not 40-year old mothers...

why when i try to help a friend does that friend then come back and spit in my face? they want to internalize their problems, so i let them then they come crying back to me about how lousy things have become...but i tried to help...serves you right...serves you well...

spent time in nature at the LA Arboretum on Saturday. it felt good to shoot macro and look for tiny details that people miss while seeing the big picture while there.

what a fun day!
played dress-up for a bit with flooz, jen, and holly.
then headed to the cemetery to shoot the festivities there.

Trisha Nicole Graham
Model Mayhem # 749516
El Dorado Nature Center Long Beach, CA
October 18, 2009

texture by pareerica: www.flickr.com/photos/8078381@N03/3967978463/

Model: Trisha Nicole Graham
Model Mayhem # 749516
July 13, 2008
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tomorrow i have the opportunity to shoot one of my favorite models: Trisha Nicole Graham...for a birthday present to myself! Yay!

this is a picture from our very first shoot together last year. i was fortunate to have met a model with her talent...since it was my first shoot, i had no idea how to direct her. turned out she didn't need any direction AT ALL...she's a natural.

the other day i was at the El Dorado Nature Center looking for spiders and came across a dark, creepy, scraggly-tree filled area along the paved path. the first thing that popped into my mind was, "Trish would look great in there dressed like a lost soul." When I got home, I was surprised to see an email from Trish wanting me to shoot her and her boyfriend's anniversary pictures! What a happy coincidence! So we talked and set up a shoot on my birthday! What a gift! I've been dying to shoot models again but haven't had the time. Now I have the time and the model and I am ecstatic!

just right for halloween!
i really love Paul's work. he's one of the best stop-motion filmmakers i have seen in a very very long time and i really hope he makes it big!!

5 little pumpkins sitting on the gate
the first one said, "Oh my, it's getting late!"
the second one said, "There's witches in the air!"
the third one said, "But we don't care!"
the fourth one said, "Let's run and run and run!"
the fifth one said, "I'm ready for some fun!"
then --oooooooooh went the wind
and
OUT
went the lights
and the 5 little pumpkins rolled out of sight!